There really has got to be a better way to say that.
Hello everyone, I have been ridiculously absent as of late, but with good reason. My wife and I traveled back to the United States at the end of February for a routine appointment with the always “inspiring” green card bio metrics team of consultants. Apparently, enough ink applied to
human limbs and body parts is sufficient for bio metric tracking. We did not realize my wife’s footprints were unique or that Near Field Communication chips could implanted in the Human Body. On the upside she can pay for anything with the shake of her belly button.
While we are here, we felt it was prudent to talk with our Green Card Parole Officer over at Firn. It was here that we discovered that Germany would have to be put on hold for the time being, and just to be certain, Andrea’s new NFC microchip doubles as an invisible fence, delivering incrementally uncomfortable shocks as she nears the U.S. border. So, needless to say, our life has been flipped turned upside down as we try to figure out our next move and re-acclimate ourselves in the land of the free. The outlook looks positive; my wife is managing splendidly on 3 pairs of shoes and I have renewed faith in her survival should the world fall to calamity before 2013.
Zombie Apocalypse Averted
Now before you high-tail it out of here, fear not, creativity will not be averted, and I will be adding some new features to my Twitter feed such as German word of the day, and additional recklessness to the site’s pages as well. Unlike a recent redaction on This American Life, the stories on Auslandish will remain completely outrageous and slightly left of the truth.
For now check out the things I have been investigating while trying to free my mind:
1. Unless you live under a rock, it would be impossible to ignore the sad and unintended consequences of Florida’s “Stand your Ground” law. Yes, I too have been enraptured with the Trayvon Martin Story, and the lethal response of the “neighborhood watchman”. On a positive note, The Trayvon tragedy has thrusted me headlong into the path of Ta-Nehisi Coates, Senior Editor for The Atlantic. His insights have been nothing short of fantastic.
2. The Hunger Games is finally here, and I am giddy as a school girl. I still have yet to see it, at this juncture, which means I will probably lazily await the epidemically expensive release on Blu-Ray, and then continue to wait for the remastered 6 disc box set that will eventually dominate the shelves of a nearby Best Buy in the not so distant dystopian future. I am not surprised that major blockbuster release is not surrounded by blockbuster controversy, with racial epithets on Twitter. The giddiness was short-lived. On to the next one.
3. Thanks to Amazon Prime, I have been haphazardly watching a mountain of comedy lately. I tend to gravitate towards two types of comedy; smart, random musings on life as explained by Mitch Hedberg, George Carlin, Brian Regan or Louis C.K., or the witty, snark found in once popular television shows such as Arrested Development, Red Dwarf, or Smothers Brothers.
Oh crap, done perusing the links already? Well, until next week Ta Ta.
